I finally found a reason for my procrastination. I have this project to work on and I keep extending my deadline claiming (to myself and no one else) that it’s a bigger project than I expected and it needs more time. My initial deadline (March 1st) was extended to March 15. Now that the 15th is approaching, I extend once again to the end of March. But instead of blaming it on laziness or pure procrastination (Ellen has a cute little clip on that in her standup “here and now”), I finally found (or invented) the reasons behind my multiple extensions. I am homesick. Purely and utterly homesick.
I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my students. I miss my office. I miss my house. I miss my walks with my sisters on the beach (dwindling as they were becoming). I miss trying out new restaurants with my friends and family (and oh that is a never-ending pastime in Kuwait). I miss having breakfast at my mom’s on Saturdays with my brother off from his bank job (and more often than not, my other brothers and sisters also off, by choice). I miss shocking my students with my choice of controversial articles. I miss playing with my nephews and nieces. I miss hanging out at my friend’s house watching Sex and the City and feasting on Pizza, sushi, doughnuts and ice-cream. I miss my book club. I miss having people at my house. I miss complaining about not having a good enough beach to enjoy in summer. I miss end of semester lunches with my students. I miss going for late night gaz shawarma with my friends. I miss teaching in the outdoors. I miss my grandma. I miss my sisters. I miss my sisters a lot. I miss Chocolate Bar and I miss Le Notre. I miss meeting my friends at Johnny Rockets (it's not the food, it's the company;) Yes. Believe it or not. I miss Kuwait.
So here now. I am not procrastinating. I am not lazy. I am not lost. I am not tired. I am not putting things off. I simply am homesick, an emotional state of depravity that prevents me from working. Quite ironic when you come to think of it since the main reason I am away from home is to work on this and other projects.