Friday, August 17, 2007

Howdy

I am sitting in the porch, waiting for my chicken to cook so we can eat. Waiting for time to pass so we can go to the movies. It’s humid after the rain. We’re having two more days of rain according to the weather forecast so my mornings by the pool have to be postponed.
And as I lazily sit here killing time, I decide it’s time to post something here.

My first-born “ice-ice-baby-boy” leaves the nest for the first time. I accompany him to the place he will call home for the next four years. And as I launch him into his new life, as I help him prepare his new home and get familiar with his new school, I am left with some not-so-typical emotions.
I am not worried about him. I am not worried about what might happen as he lives on his own in a place miles and miles away from home. I am not worried about missing him. My joy at seeing him reach this stage overshadows any negative feelings that might come with his approaching vacant spot in my house. I am happy for him.

I am often asked how I feel about this, with the expected answer being something along the lines of “I can’t believe my boy is leaving the house, living on his own. I am gonna miss him so much. I don’t know how I can handle his absence from the house and I am so worried about leaving him to tend for himself.”
And occasionally, I fake such answer (I am, when the occasion demands, quite good at...hmmmm...faking it?)
But the truth of the situation is that I am simply happy for him, with no worries whatsoever (Overconfidence that I raised him well enough to be up for the challenge? Lack of proper motherly emotions? Inability to come to grips with the actual situation? It didn’t hit me yet?)

So for now, my worries now are 2:
1. Chicken here is so damn huge, will it cook in time? (why did I decide to cook tonight? What’s wrong with the restaurant food we’ve been munching at for the past 10 days? Playing mother?)
2. I hope I don’t get bored out of my mind as the boys and I go watch Superbad tonight. (Another fake attempt to be motherly maybe?)

OK enough of that. I am not a fake. My mere acknowledgment of the fact that I ‘fake’ it is proof that I am a very very honest person ;)

Ciao y’all.

16 comments:

Maya // مايا said...

Hahaha! Very very well said! Back ya' up completely hon! Faking stuff is fun :) Watching the buggers ponder on the stuff we fake is even funner! :)

You're a fantastic mom- hope I'll be as good as you someday :) You're an inspiration girl!

Hope the chicken cooked well :)

Mwah,
Maya

Alia said...

Finally ,, a new post

Well you shouldn't be worried at all (I know you're saying you're not .. bas i insist that you are) .. you're a great mother, & an inspiration to us all

Missing you ;**

Oh .. & I'll ask you about your feelings in a couple of months .. & we'll see what answers you'll give .. you won't fool me ;)

ValenciaLover said...

I am very proud of you. you're a great mother... & sister.

miss you

sani and zoro said...

حنان
قرأت ما كتبتيه واشتقت إليكم

sani and zoro said...

سلامي لكم

cookie said...

try to buy the organic chicken, smaller. i hope ull get over it to whatever u may feel , i fake things too :)

Swair. said...

Mabrook! i didn't know you were out of the country, and i've been sending u Facebook invitations to meetings and stuff lol

And i think you're a great mom for not freaking out and being confident about the way you raised your boy...

is the chicken done yet?

Disturbed Stranger said...

Faking & Pretence works well with you. Just be careful from the "slaps of reality", you wouldn't want to lose it completely then, now would you? :)

Hanan said...

maya. Thanks. Chicken came out great.
alia. You just think I'm like you hon. I'm not. But thanks for the words of praise. Coming from you they mean alot.
valencia. Miss u too. So so much :*
sani&zoro. احنا بعد اشتقنا
cookie. I was aiming at Cornish Hens but didn't find any at the grocery store I went to.
swair. unfortunately I only got to attend one of your meetings. I enjoyed my time there. Thanks for the invitation. I'll try to make it to future meetings.
disturbed stranger. I don't like slaps, of reality or other wise. But I can pretend not to mind them :)

Jewaira said...

I guess it hasn't hit you yet...wait a few months.

Best of luck to your son though and hoping he has a wonderful college experience.

Maya // مايا said...

Damn girl! You're purrrrfect! :P

Alia said...

hmmmm .. not like me?
of course you're not

you're a see through ;)

Soud said...

How many fingers in those legs?

i see 9 :)

حمودي said...

abeee rain ween ?

sweetd said...

awww...:) It's hard letting go of your young ones...Goodluck to him ;) and with u..life has to go on...

Hanan said...

jewaira. Maybe I'm just in denial :) Freudian psycho-mumbo-jumbo really appeals to me (Freud the daughter of course, not her dear Daddy)
maya. hatha min thooqich
alia. I'm not. Leave the see-through talk to my dad.
soud. If you do, you need an eye exam :p
hamoody. Texas, amazingly enough :) (or London for a guaranteed supply)
sweetd. Thank you :)