Saturday, October 06, 2007

forgive and forget? really?

I've been neglecting this blog lately. I used to be more of an avid blog keeper before, back when I was blogging incognito. But Kuwait is small, and now everyone knows everyone in blogger. To top it all, many of my readers are students of mine. So social decorum had to be kept if only for that purpose :)

But enough of that. Kaify. It's my blog. I can write whatever I want here. Personal and disgruntled writing is part of the reason I started a blog anyway. So to my dear readers, I implore you, what you read here is personal. I am indeed 'airing my laundry' here. And though you are privy to my blog airing of that laundry, don't be complete asses and take it out of blogger. And to my dear friends and family (and students?), if I lash out on you here, you are only allowed to lash back here. Schizophrenics have always fascinated me. And in light of that, I am inventing for myself a schizo personality here on blogger, separate from my real identity. Don't mix up the two.

Now that the lengthy intro has been dealt with (shda3wa kil hatha. Just get to the point already), we move to the topic of this post: forgiveness (quite a Ramadaani topic, won't you agree?)

Now watch this for a break (and animated rendition of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Cask of Amontillado":



I'm always haunted by my inability to forget injury. And it haunts me most when I find it in others. I can't accept it then.
يعني حلال علي وحرام على غيري؟

What if someone told you they forgive and forget (your injury to them), do you believe them? If I hold a grudge, why would I not expect it from others? If I hold a grudge, how can I understand other people's ability to let go?

كل يرى الناس بعين طبعه
And 6ab3ee is that I can't forget, even if I act as though I've forgiven.

I won't go as far as Montresor and burry my Fortunato alive in my wine-seller (come to think of it, I don't have a wine-celler. Will have to settle for a basement that is no basement at all), but I am known - if only to myself, a few friends, and the blog community :) - to hold grudges. I'm not totally proud it it. But it's human nature;
my human nature. As such, I am not ashamed of it either. Of course this is blurred by my 'other' human nature: keeping pretenses. So if you ever cross my path, I'd be as good as Montresor in acting civil with you (but only to lure you into my cellar and bury you alive maybe?).

How's Ramadan treating you? Giving rise to any of your demons? Amazing what repression can do.

9 comments:

Swair. said...

I forgive, i don't forget..

I forgive for my own sake since I don't want anything nagging at my brain, but I seriously never forget.. I'd allow whatever situation I've been through with someone to be in the back of my head, just in case.. Just so I don't get bitten in the bum again..

So yes, I'm a nice person who forgives, but "fool me twice and shame on me" is out of the question :D

Shopaholic said...

;*

Write whatever you feel like writing sweetheart

AnGeL said...

having another personality for the blogging community is totally acceptable, its even normal. write what ever you want and don't worry about what they think ;)

Forgetting and Forgiving is a big issue, for me i could forgive some times but i don't think that i would forget. even if i come to terms with this person and be all nice and ok with them i still hold a grudge its not easy to forget the pain. don't mess with me and expect me to forget easy ;)

Disturbed Stranger said...

Only a fool would forgive and then suffer the "not-forgetting".

...And unfortunately there are many of those..
Personally, I forget (as nothing in this world really matters) however, I rarely forgive.

AND, why "air your laundry" when there's a drier?:) Unless ur calling for attention...then that's another issue..

Amethyst said...

Finally, a new post!

I love the music in that clip.

I can forgive, but I can't forget. People these days ma yamshoun with the "forgive and forget" theory. If you forgive and forget you'll be a placemat, and people will step on you without thinking twice. Be civil, but lure them to your wine-cellar when they cross the line again.

Some people don't deserve second chances though. My demons were unleashed last night. They couldn't handle being repressed for so long.

cookie said...

i always wanted people to forget or foorgive they never do lol.. i do forgive because i forget and start a another day.

btw i liked ur whatever split personalities as a teacher and a blogger they're similar i think but more personal as a bloggger which is fine....

ValenciaLover said...

According to amethyst, i'm afraid i'm a placemat. i always find reasons for others to forgive & i easily forget. i have a big heart, what can i do?

Alia said...

valencia .. lucky you

I-personally-have a very BLACK heart at this case

I may forgive
But never forget
yimkin i do for a while .. but if it ever happen again, it will all come up harder than ever

amby ... i'm aweful
be aware people
be aware

Jewaira said...

I guess if one is able to forgive and to forget, then one is releasing one's own self from those negative emotions. It is a release that not many people are able to attain.